Don’t let your past define you; let it refine you.
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My past was a living nightmare. I had been in abusive relationships my entire adult life; different man, same story. I was beaten and tormented, belittled and manipulated, cheated on and stolen from. I lost my children. Bounced from job to job. Struggled physically, financially, and emotionally and turned to alcohol to numb the pain I felt inside and to lessen the pain that was inevitable from the hands that claimed to love me. But despite all the pain and struggles, I clearly see how all the hatred and negativity I faced in the past has positively shaped me.
Over the last few years, I have been in this self-healing hermit mode. It has been a difficult and sometimes lonely and painful journey, but it was necessary for all the healing and growth that I have done. Transforming from victim to survivor and survivor to warrior. This journey has given me strength and bravery, taught me patience, and deepened my empathy. It showed me how resilient and courageous I truly am. I got my children back. I have overcome Complex PTSD from past abusive and trauma-filled relationships. I have conquered many limiting beliefs. I am healthy and sober. I reclaimed my life and my power. But the most significant positive impact of a past filled with trauma and abuse has been to fully comprehend the true meaning of Love.
Love is not conditional, nor is it selfish or degrading. It does not belittle or inflict pain. It doesn’t bring you shame or guilt. It is not fearful and destructive. It doesn’t leave you questioning or striving for its acceptance. It shouldn’t leave you feeling broken and worthless or bruised and bleeding, begging for your life.
Real love brings you back to life. It holds space for you; it understands and uplifts you. It is peaceful and joy-filled. It stands next to you regardless of what obstacles are in front of you. Real Love cheers you on and encourages positive actions and words. It sees the true beauty of your flaws and stands proudly by your side. It’ll never leave you or forsake you. Real Love nourishes your soul and opens your heart.
So, I thank all those who have demonstrated what Love is not. If not for them, I would not be where I am today. I wouldn’t have discovered that what I was longing for was within me the entire time- all the acceptance and understanding, the peace and joy, all the Real Love. All I needed to do was embody it, embrace it, and simply to Be Love to myself every single moment and in all that I do and speak.
Don’t let your past define you; let it refine you. Believe in yourself. Turn your pain into purpose. Transform the lies into truth. Manifest Real Love. I promise you will never regret finding the Real Love that is within you. You are worthy and deserving of it.